2-Year-Old’s Behaviors and Remedies

Two-year-olds act out their emotions in some pretty bizarre ways. Learn how to crack the code of seven common toddler behaviors.

By the time your child reaches toddlerhood, they have likely developed some perplexing 2-year-old behaviors. Not only are they becoming a verbal, opinionated little person, but they also may be downright bossy—telling you where to sit, which pants they want to wear, and exactly what they'd like for lunch.

When it comes to communicating more complex thoughts and putting emotions into words, however, they still have a way to go. This means you're often forced to interpret some confusing actions.

We asked experts to help us decipher the hidden meaning of common 2-year-old behaviors and body language. Here's what they had to say.

1.They Avoid Eye Contact

When babies avert their gaze, they're telling you that they're overwhelmed and need a break from being the star of the show. Sometime around their second birthday, your toddler will develop the capacity for self-conscious emotions like shame. For instance, they know that you're angry because they kidnapped their baby brother's teddy bear again.

"When a young child refuses to look at you, it means they realize that their actions may have disappointed you."

Your response: Acknowledge your child's poor choice in simple, short sentences by saying things like: "We don't rip books," or "We never push." Offer a way to make it right, like taping a torn page or hugging their friend.

2.They Fill Their Bed With Stuffed Animals

Not too long ago, your baby cradled their fuzzy blanket and slept soundly. Now they demand to take so many comfort objects to sleep each night that their bed looks like a modern art project.

"This is the age when a child's imagination takes off, and they start having nightmares and populating the closets with monsters." "Keeping familiar objects nearby makes your child feel secure as they drift off to sleep or wake up in the middle of the night."

Your response: Remember, 2-year-olds think literally—the monsters they've imagined seem incredibly real, so it doesn't help to show them that nothing is lurking in the closet. "They'll just think you can't see monsters."

3.They Hide When Meeting New People

Think about the last time you attended a social event where you didn't know a soul. You probably talked yourself through the discomfort with internal dialogue. Maybe you even grabbed a drink to have something to do with your hands. Consider your 2-year-old's behavior of hiding in their shirt the age-appropriate equivalent of an adult's social anxiety.

Your response: Gently coax your toddler turtle out of their shell. "Young children look to their parents for cues on how to react to new situations."

Relax your shoulders, smile, say hello to new acquaintances, and give your child a reassuring squeeze. This lets them know that their surroundings are safe and friendly. Then, give them time to warm up.

4.They Hide When Pooping in Their Diaper

This common 2-year-old behavior indicates two things. First, your child is clued into their urge to poop. Second, they've observed that adults do the deed in private. These are two positive signs that they're getting ready for potty training, which usually happens between ages 2 and 3.4 But the number-one indicator?

"They immediately ask to have their dirty diaper changed.""If a child doesn't care about sitting in their poop, then they're not ready for potty training.

Your response: Encourage your toddler's search for privacy, but steer them into the bathroom. "Just getting a child into the right room of the house is a positive step—there's no need to pressure them to sit on the potty yet."

5.They Throw a Tantrum

It can be shocking (and a bit troubling) when your normally sweet, kind 2-year-old starts throwing food or breaking toys. But it's important to understand that their eruption is probably just a reaction to the current situation and not a sign that their personality has changed. Usually, when kids this age act out, they're trying to tell you, "I'm frustrated," "I'm bored," "I'm tired," or "I need attention!"

Your response: Trying to reason with a toddler in the heat of a temper tantrum is likely to backfire. First, calmly try to figure out what's going on and validate their feelings. Remember, toddlers often struggle to regulate their emotions and learn by testing limits. Acknowledging their feelings (even if you don't fully understand them) tells your toddler that you hear them. Sometimes, that's enough to start settling the storm.

Other times, you may just need to wait it out and offer support—as long as everyone is safe. Just don't ignore behaviors like hitting, kicking, biting, or throwing. Ensure everyone is safe by first stopping the behavior. Then reiterate that their feelings are fine, but the unsafe behavior is not. 

6.They Throw a Fit as You're Fulfilling Their Request

Babies are born impatient as a matter of survival. They fuss and wail to be fed right now! Changed right now! Cradled right now! Your toddler's inability to hold their horses is a reminder that, though they're growing up at the speed of light, they still have a toe or two in their baby years.

The prefrontal cortex, the region of the brain responsible for self-control, starts developing most dramatically somewhere between the ages of 2 and 7.6. That means in the meantime, your child will have a harder time coping with a delay in having their needs met. If your toddler starts acting out even while you're cutting the strawberries they just asked for, you're not alone.

Your response: Don't indulge your toddler's need for instant gratification by moving at warp speed to meet their every demand. Instead, tell them you've heard their request and will get them what they want as soon as you can.

Gradually begin to draw out the time it takes you to fulfill their commands, talking them through the specific steps you're taking. Say, "Mommy's finishing the dishes, then she'll dry her hands, open the fridge, and pour you some apple juice." You're teaching your toddler a valuable skill—patience—by insisting they wait for things.

7.They Yell, "No, My Mommy/Daddy!" When Other Kids Approach You

Clingy behavior could signal that your child feels like they're not getting enough of you, especially if you've been working long hours or have recently welcomed a new baby to the family. In the absence of any changes in the status quo, such possessiveness is probably part and parcel of your 2-year-old's blossoming sense of self.

"The 'mine, mine, mine' phase is annoying, but it's a good thing because it means that your toddler is making progress figuring out who they are as a person." "At this stage, their self-image is tied to the things that are most valuable to them," and their parents are right up there.

Your response: Hug your child, and tell them that, of course, you're their parent and you love them. You could also use this as a quick teaching moment about sharing.